


One Way Ticket

by oblivilous



Category: One Direction
Genre: Much death, Other, This is new for me, both of those relationships are SO lowkey, my friend came up w the au that started this, this is all platonic, very sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-13
Updated: 2017-01-13
Packaged: 2018-09-17 04:13:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9303668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oblivilous/pseuds/oblivilous
Summary: the one where 5 boys are still trying to find their purpose.louis is falling apart, zayn wants to put him back together, harry protects niall, niall might love harry, liam is just confused.or, the one where the train doesn't stop until his heart does.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I am so sorry for this??? My friend gave me an au and I just took off?? I didn't mean for it to be this emo but it is??

_It’s 4 A.M. when the train makes it’s final stop. A boy with a hole in his stomach steps on board. His chestnut brown eyes adjust to the beautifully lit cabin that contrasted so much from the gloomy exterior of his former world._  
_He’s met with the curious eyes of four other men. They all look as much of a mess as he does. One of them is drenched from head to toe, everything clinging to him. He’s practically shivering, probably suffering from hypothermia or something. Another boy had pieces of glass sticking out from his body. He’s got a piece sticking out from his cheek, blood dried to his face. There are also various bits sticking out from his shirt. The one with light blond hair doesn’t seem too odd, he’s just a little disheveled and dizzy._  
_The one that causes the newcomer to look away is a younger boy with swollen purple lines around his throat._  
_“What is this place?” Liam asks as the doors shut behind him and the wheels begin moving, almost knocking him over out of the sudden motion._  
_“It’s the state of being unfinished,” replies the boy with the lines. His voice has a soothing high pitch that makes Liam think of his sister. Liam takes notice of the slight rasp in his voice._  
_Liam looks outside at the already morning sky. Time must move unimaginably fast. The morning was a beautiful calm blue with the sun shining in through the windows. It gave the cabin a warm glow._  
_“It’s sort of like when you’re between life and death. You get to choose to stay or go. You’re here because you took your own life, yeah?”_  
_Liam, taken aback at the boy’s words, nods. “_  
_We’re all here because the way we attempted didn’t completely kill us,” the boy with the light hair picks up from the pretty boy when he notices the boy’s voice fade. “I’m Niall. I’m the quarterback for my football team. I overdosed at a party. I-my body is on the way to the hospital right now.”_  
_Liam cringes, it’s odd how they all talk about their suicides as if it were no big deal._  
_“Harry,” the tallest of them says quietly. His voice is deep and contrasts nicely with the pretty boy’s. “I was at Niall’s party. On my way home I purposely wrecked into a tree while driving drunk. The only reason I’m still holding on is because I had my seatbelt on. I’m glad I did, the team needs to keep Niall here.”_  
_Liam doesn't miss the way Harry looks at Niall with admiration._  
_“I’m Louis,” pretty boy introduces himself. He loops an arm around the shaking boy beside him. “This is my best friend, Zayn. He can’t talk, he drowned himself and his lungs are full of water. The doctors are trying to drain him in the hospital right now. Our beds are side to side.”_  
_Well, the hypothermia made sense, Liam decides. He was most curious about the Louis boy though._  
_“What about you?” Liam asks Louis after much internal debate. He knows the answer is obvious but he wants to hear the boy confirm it for some reason._  
_“Hung myself,” Louis dismisses the question with a wave of his hand._  
_“Oh,” Liam doesn’t know what else to add, so he just drops the subject all together. Liam frowns as the sun outside disappears behind some clouds._  
_“What about yourself?” Louis asks Liam after a beat of silence._  
_“Shot myself,” Liam tries to reply as casually as Louis had, but his voice cracks and gives way to his inner fears._  
_“It wasn’t in the head,” Harry notes, and Zayn nods in agreement._  
_“You didn’t want to die…” Louis trails off, looking at Liam sympathetically. Liam bites his lip. He doesn’t know if that’s necessarily correct or incorrect._  
_“Well… did any of you?” He argues meekly. There is a mumble from the group, save Zayn and Louis, who has gone strangely silent._  
_“I’m technically in a coma,” he says quietly. “I get to choose when to come out of it.” Rain patters gently against the windows, completely taking over the afternoon sky._  
_“Well how long have you been here?” Liam asks, eyebrows furrowing._  
_“About a month I believe, I don’t know much about the time in this place.”_  
_“Why don’t you wake up?” Liam persists._  
_“Because I’m not going to. I’m riding this train until the final stop.”_  
_“Which is what?” Liam asks, still very confused._  
_“Heaven. I didn’t kill myself to come back. I didn’t kill myself so my shitty alcoholic father would just maybe reconsider who he is. I killed myself because I was already dying.” There is a flash of lightning outside the window, and Liam jumps._  
_It seems as if the train is going through a storm._  
_As Louis pours his heart out, Liam turns back to really take a look at him. It isn’t until this very close inspection that he sees that Louis’ hair cleverly covers up bald patches. Liam also notes the pale skin and skeletal frame. It’s then that Liam realizes what he means, as do all of the other passengers. The air seems to leave the room, leaving a hanging, dry silence._  
_The only thing that can be heard is the storm brewing outside._  
_“Cancer,” Niall sighs, seemingly the last one to take in what’s happening._  
_Louis cringes, but nods at the blond boy._  
_“It’s a vicious word, innit? Seems to suck the life away from you. Your parents try to forget you, your friends struggle to hold you, the people in your life just seem to slip away from you. I wasn’t going to die like them. I didn’t want to look at myself and see an alien staring back at me- I don’t want to see the alien staring back at me.”        All eyes are on the poor bastard, and Liam can practically feel the tears stinging Louis’ eyes and it pierces right through to his heart. Liam finds this thunder storm very fitting._  
_“I’m a man, ‘a manly man’,” Louis mocks in a deep voice. “I’m not supposed to cry. I’m not supposed to lay down and die. I’m supposed to be a fighter. I'm not letting this take me. I'm going to die as who I am now, not who I'll be in 3 more months!” Louis shouts, voice giving out. Outside the wind hisses and howls around them, making the train practically sway._  
_It's absolutely heartbreaking, Liam thinks, seeing someone take their own life just so their life doesn't take them. It's devastatingly symbolic._  
_Louis takes a seat at a booth, trying to block everyone out after his breakdown. Zayn follows after his friend, sitting across from him and grabbing Louis’ hand. These people are all tied together, Liam notices. Pair and pair, and he was the odd one out. It made him think about his sister, his family. It hits him like a bullet that this was a selfish mistake._  
_“When do we get off?” Liam asks slowly, still processing how this whole Polar Express-like train works._  
_“Whenever you want,” Harry says. “I'm leaving whenever Niall is ready.” Harry gives Niall another sad look that doesn’t go unnoticed._  
_Liam smiles, content with that answer. He may be the last one on and the first one off, but he figures that just means he's alive. The train seems to read his thoughts, because it slows to a stop and the doors behind him open. On the other side lies an incredibly bright light. Liam doesn’t see any sign of the storm._  
_Liam takes a look back at his new friends, and smiles at them. “Please stay alive,” Liam pleads, mostly directed at Louis._  
_He steps off the train, walking into the light._  
     His eyes shoot open and are met with bright lights. He squints and groans. He's in a hospital bed and there's a numb pain around his abdomen.  
     “Li-Liam?” His mother asks from her chair next to the bed. When she notices her son awake, she leans over and squeezes him in her arms. His mother calls for the doctor, who seems very surprised that Liam is awake and responsive.  
     “You've been out for 4 days, we didn't know if you'd make it,” the doctor states.  
     Liam blinks at him in reply. “Is there a Harry, Louis, Niall, or Zayn in this hospital?” Liam asks the doctor.  
     “Son, there are many Harry’s, Louis’, Niall’s, and Zayn’s here every day, I don't know who you're looking for.” The doctor shakes his head sadly before he suggests Liam gets more rest. Liam tries to plead with the doctor again, but he just waves Liam off as delusional and orders him to rest. Liam gives in to the drugs and lets his mind slip.  
      _The train begins moving again after the doors hang open for minutes. Some of them expect Liam to come back, others think someone else is coming. Neither is correct._  
_The group begins to huddle around Louis, who’s got his head in his hands. He still hears Liam saying “please stay alive” in his head. He almost wishes he could. Zayn is across from him, silently crying. Had he known the pain his friend was in he would’ve stuck around to help him._  
_“Chemo?” Niall asks, crouching down to Louis’ height._  
_Louis lifts his head to look at him and smiles bitterly. “It didn’t work for me. It’s hopeless. You guys should be like Liam and go ahead. I don’t know what’s going wrong in your life, but I promise you it can change. You have the chance to live still. Meanwhile, my body is decaying in a hospital bed as we speak.”_  
_The room grows colder and darker like the weather outside, and the boys huddle together for warmth._  
_Harry looks to Niall, who finally returns a miserable look._  
_They seemingly make a decision together._  
_“We’re going to fight for you,” Harry says, picking at the glass in his cheek. He won’t need the shards anymore, just the scars that’ll keep Louis in their memories. Harry and Niall break from the group, standing side by side boldly. They don’t know what’s on the other side, but they’re ready. The dark train again slows to a stop and the doors slide open, revealing the same blinding light that Liam had journeyed into._  
_They walk into it, heads held high._  
     Harry sits up in his bed, feeling his body for the pieces of glass that were once there. In place, he has some stitches here and there, and he can feel a bandage wrapped around the top of his head. He peers over at the bed next to him, watching as Niall slowly blinks his eyes open. Niall leans over and vomits.  
     “You alright?” Harry asks, voice scratching his throat. He’s very happy to find there’s water next to his bed. He takes the cup and swallows the water down.  
     “Fine, and you?”  
     “I’ve seen worse days, I suppose,” Harry cracks a small grin.  
      _The train doesn’t take as long this time to start up again. It’s getting colder and darker by the minute._  
_Zayn hacks up water for a solid minute before clearing his throat. “I guess they drained my lungs,” Zayn surprises himself when he speaks. He thought that was just in his head. He’s grateful he can finally get words out._  
_Louis smiles grimly at him, knowing the ride was almost over._  
_“I don’t suppose you’re coming, are you?” Zayn asks him softly, the roar of the engine almost completely drowning out his voice. Thunder claps loudly, shaking the cabin to the core. Zayn grips Louis’ hand tighter and the storm slightly subsides._  
_“I have to go,” Louis answers firmly. As much as Zayn would love nothing more than to see his best friend to the end, he knew being there with Louis in reality was where he was needed._  
_“I can stay with you for just awhile longer,” Zayn says comfortingly, and Louis nods in understanding._  
_“Okay.”_  
_…_  
_“Zayn?”_  
_“Yeah?”_  
_“I’m going to miss you.”_  
_“I promise I’ll miss you more.”_  
_Louis switches sides of the booth to sit beside Zayn, resting his head on his shoulder._  
_“I’m getting sleepy,” Louis comments. Zayn nods sadly, he knows what that means. This was Louis’ train after all._  
_Everything begins to settle down. The train moves slower, the sky gets a little lighter. It’s a beautiful cloudy sunset, colors bursting all over the sky. Zayn finds it very fitting._  
_Louis is like a sunset, something quiet and calming. He glad Louis isn’t leaving like a storm._  
_“I’m gonna rest my eyes for a second,” Louis mumbles sleepily. Zayn feels his throat tighten. He can’t say anything so he just nods._  
_“Goodnight, Louis.”_  
_“Goodbye, Zayn.” Louis closes his eyes slowly, taking this time to study Zayn one last time. “Remember me as I am now, not who I would’ve been.”_  
_Zayn waits until Louis’ breathing slows, watching the moon come up slowly through the window. He removes Louis from his side, his shaking no longer from hypothermia._  
_The train comes to a complete stop, the doors opening for Zayn. Instead of the blinding light, he’s greeted to the moonlight. He takes one last sad look at his sleeping friend and steps off the train._  
     It’s dark when Zayn wakes up, and the room is still. He hears a heart monitor beeping faintly.  
     He sits up from his bed and glances beside him. Louis’ sleeping in his bed peacefully. His father is there, asleep as well. There are tears stained on his cheeks. Zayn hears the heart monitor slow down until the line goes flat.  
     His father wakes with a start, fretting at the sight of the monitor. “Lou, Lou, please! Don’t do this to me! I’m sorry I pushed you away! I just can’t think about losing you! Lousing you… get it?” He goes from screaming at his son to pathetic baby talk, all the while a nurse comes rushing in.  
     She pulls his father into the hallway to not startle presumably Zayn and the doctor coming in to try to revive him.  
     Zayn sits and listens to the mixtures of Louis’ father’s screaming, the doctor desperately working to save him, the nurse’s panicked breathing. He listens to all of it, his own breathing even and eyes dry.  
     He remains stone faced through it all, the removal, the funeral. He stands with 3 other boys, all broken and alone, but still somehow together and alive. Two of them are hugging each other and weeping silently. The other boy looks sickly, appearing as if he hasn’t been sleeping at night.  
     Zayn, perhaps Zayn looked the most sane of them all ironically. He didn’t have any scars, he didn’t have any tears. But when he came home that night, realizing his friend would never be at his side again, he let himself go.  
     He cries for the two boys who saved each other, he cries for the boy who isn’t sleeping. He cries for the father who lost the only thing he had left besides his mind.           Mostly, he cries for Louis. Louis who will never fall in love, Louis who will never get to laugh or get to cry again. He cries because Louis isn’t hurting anymore, but he isn’t feeling at all. He sacrificed himself to save the others.  
     “Goodnight, Louis.”

**Author's Note:**

> so um... yea that happened. hope you enjoyed death!


End file.
